And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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