Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
