Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
