billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize