batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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