Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
