I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
