Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
