she woke up with a sticky ear
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
