ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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