Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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