it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
