i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
