I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
