sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
