our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
