All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
