VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
