It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
