you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sext me about skeletons
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
