May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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