Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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