you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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