I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
