I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
