we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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