Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize