My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
