whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
