K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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