i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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