paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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