Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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