Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
