Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
