My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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