Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
