He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
