Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize