try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He felt like a one man threesome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
