he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
