I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
