idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
