apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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