I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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