What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
