Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
