Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize