IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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