I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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