Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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