Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
