I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this boner is exhausting
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
