dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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