The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
