Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
