so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
