I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
