im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
