So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
