I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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