If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
