she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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