I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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