nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
