im about as happy as oj after his trial
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
