saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think your dad took our porno
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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