He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm having to shit out rocks
His nipple licking is glorious
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