His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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