I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
