I could have mohawked her pubes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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