so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
