this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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